I have come so far on this journey of cancer and ready to be done with it all. I’ve learned so much about my body. I’ve learned that I am not alone. I’ve learned that balance of life is everything. I’ve learned how people I don’t even know can be so supportive. I’ve learned how much deeper I can love my ohana around me. I’ve even learned how to be strong when some speak doubtfulness. I’ve also learned how to depend on my Heavenly Father. Especially in times of doubt.
Finishing off this week, cycle 7, with one more cycle to go. A battle of the cells are going on inside my body. The core of cancer is trying to stay. My tumor marker level is at 6. Last week it was 5. The week before that it was 7.5. The human parts of me wants to let doubt fill me and speak as if I was afraid. I thought how perfect God is. How I can depend on him to do his will. I cannot depend on any chemical entering my body to finish the job. Nor can I depend on what I have already been doing. Food, nutrition, exercise. It’s come down to this. My faith. Something that was always there but never spoken out proudly or loudly.
My eyes have been opened so much more after death and life. As I reminisce to my younger days and start to see His hand in every step of my life, I know He has so much more for me. I hold to the visions of Life, Love, Joy, Prosperity. This feels like a testing point. Whether I want it or not. How bad I want to fight and live or how bad I want to give up and let cancer take its course. Of course we all want life but when pressed against the walls that are trying to crush us, do we let it or do we look up and start to see how our mere mortal bodies and all natural creation around us was orchestrated by someone who created us but also gave us free will.
I am fighting this till cancers very end. I continue on with everything I have learned and implement them everyday. Mahalo nui loa for your constant prayers over me. I leave you with this clip that really made me LOL. Aloha