Sitting here enjoying the sun as it peers thru the clouds, giving early morning directions to my cuddly bunches of children, something hit me. Not like an Oprah “Aha” moment. Oh no… More like “OH SNAP! IS THAT WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING?” Kind of hit.
I was very proud of the fact that I could do a multiple of things. Be the Super Mommy. Going thru treatment along with recovery I realized, I don’t want to be super mom doing every single thing for my kids. There are some situations that do call for a mom to be a mom, a leader, a guiding light (lol). Nice characteristics to have. Now realizing and making it known, like a confession I guess I… Have become… A… (In my most quietest voice) a micro-managing monster of a mom… AHHAHHHH!!!!
Somehow it happened. I’ve watched shows that have those CEO’s or Managers micro-managing their employees and made my own judgements about them. But myself being one! Oh man! Parts of it I would like to blame on my OCDness and always having to have things perfect. HA! I also blame it on the fact that I was such a brilliant, cute, intuitive, clean and orderly child. (Just to name a few)
Chemo has done it’s job on cancer but it has also done it’s damage on my mind, body and organs. Cancer has made me see how much more I was doing rather then just doing. More is ok but when I forget about myself then that’s when it’s too much. Seeing that I was micro-managing my children help me to understand my old self and now make adjustments for my new self.
Mahalo to the universe for allowing me to see and accept the mind changes. Mahalo to my Heavenly Father for his mercy and grace. Mahalo to you for taking the time to like and share. Aloha